Post Natal Depression (PND) is a term that we’ve all heard of, but do you really know exactly what it means? We’ve teamed up with Danielle from The Tired Mama Collection to help out the awesome guys who have been brave enough to ask for some advice…..
According to the NHS, PND affects around 1 in 10 women, this statistic does not include women who do not seek professional help, so this statistic is very likely to be a lot higher. Post Natal Depression is not uncommon, you are not alone.
After welcoming a new baby, it is very common for new mums to become anxious, tearful and down. This phase is known as the “baby blues” and is completely normal. This phase does not usually last longer than around two weeks. If mum is still showing these signs than this may be a sign of Post Natal Depression. It is also important to understand that PND can begin anytime up to one year after giving birth.
The 7-page guide includes:
- A reference sheet of helpful resources, including books, websites, charities and helplines
- The “Take Note” printable
- A guide to signs and symptoms to look out for
- How to use the Take Note Strategy and further tips
The Helping Hand Guide
How the strategy works
For a PND suffer, it can be difficult to ask for help, say how you feel or talk about what you need. The Take Note Plan is a “write it down” strategy that allows mum to express her needs and feelings, when she maybe finding it difficult to say it out loud. This is a no fuss, straight to the point self-help strategy, designed to give dads direct instruction on how to help, hopefully tackling the feeling of uselessness and confusion.
How to use it:
- Print off, “when you need me sheets” on page 3.
- Sit down with your partner and show her the sheet, explain to her that you understand that it’s really important to have strong communication and that these sheets are going to be in the house so that she’s able to express her feelings or needs.
- Agree on a place to keep the sheets so that they are easy accessible, along with a pen.
- You also need to agree on a place in which the sheet can be left once filled out so that you are able to see it straight away. This maybe on the kitchen worktop, dining table, sofa, any area that’s looked at regularly.
- It is then your responsibility to ensure that you’ve taken the time to find, read and respond to the sheet.
Understand Postnatal Depression
Take the time to research and find out how PND affects your partner both emotionally and physically. It is vital that you understand that PND is a not controllable, it is an illness that needs to help and support in order to make a full recovery. The more information you have, the more you will be able to help and understand what your partner is feeling.
Remember That This is Just Temporary
Post Natal Depression is not a permanent illness. With the right support, many women make a full recovery. It is important to remember this, and to just take each day as it comes.
Talk and Listen
When someone has PND it can be difficult to express how you feel. Inside you maybe longing for someone to talk to, hold onto and ask for help, but getting the words out can be difficult. So many mums are left battling alone. The Take Note Strategy is designed to provide a straight to the point “write it down” method to help both Mum and Dad understand feelings and areas of help.
Decide on Set Jobs and Encourage Mum To Take On Small Tasks
Decide between you what roles you can take on around the house to help. It’s important not to do everything, this can be undermining, and take away the feeling of ability and power. It is important to encourage mum to do things when she’s feeling up to it and praise her for doing so. It takes a lot of effort to start a finish a task on a bad day, by showing her that you understand this, it will really help mum feel supported and understood.
Take Time Out for Yourself
Looking after yourself it’s so important. It is important that you have a healthy mind and body. Take time out to social with your friends and have time outside of the home. This will help you stay focused and positive. It is important to remember that 1 in 25 new fathers also develop PND.
Download your free copy today and drop me or Danielle a line if you need us. We’re always here. You might also want to read my family’s story, WTF – The Real Story, for some support and to understand that you are not alone. What would help you?
Friends and family members who don’t live with someone who has PND might also like: The Helping Hand Guide which is also available for free too!