The life you want has been floating around behind your closed eyelids every night for years. You may even have taken steps towards getting those things. Maybe you wrote down a goal or two? Made a resolution perhaps? But you don’t seem to be making much progress. You just can’t see a way through? In that case, you don’t want to miss this next part…
Step 1 – Get Specific with your Goals
Knowing you want change is simply not enough. Sure, a rough idea is a great start, but getting really specific is the first step in arriving there. Figuring out where you want to be is as important as getting there. Saying “I just want more time” is simply not going to cut it. Put it this way;
It’s like jumping in a taxi and just asking the guy to drive in a rough direction. The result? Without a destination you go around the houses, waste silly amounts of time, waste money and ultimately end up back where you started having taken lots of “wrong turns” (but actually, what’s a right turn?)
“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. ‘Where do you want to go?’ was his response. ‘I don’t know,’ Alice answered. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.”
Lewis Carroll – Alice in Wonderland
You need a destination in mind and, with that, you need a reason; a “why” that will keep you on track when the going gets tough. It also means you can enjoy the ride and focus on getting to your destination (the goal!) in the most practical, direct way.
Step 2 – Identify Your Blocks
There are SO MANY potential blocks to achieving what you want from life. From self doubt and issues around self worth, to constraints like time and finance, there will always be something in the way of you reaching your goal. Identifying those blocks early in the process is the best possible way to ensure you can break through them.
Women are guilty of feeling unworthy and have a proven, lower capability perception than men. We also have a greater fear of failure. This means that we have pre-determined blocks already built-into our psyche. On top of that, we often face social pressures like public perception of “perfection” and feeling the need to be seen to be doing it all. So, the odds can often feel stacked against us.
The answer? Identify the existing and POTENTIAL blocks that are holding you back. Identifying and planning for those eventualities allow you to take specific actions to avoid or destroy them altogether. It’s what we like to refer to as the metaphorical, block-busting sledgehammer.
Step 3 – Build Mind Skills
Any change is hard for our psychology to handle. Personal change, even more so. It can often require breaking habits that have been developed over years and are fundamentally ingrained in us. Like really crap tattoos.
But unlike really crap tattoos, removing those habits is possible and less painless! Overcoming blocks and making changes to our current lives require us to learn new things. There are an insurmountable number of benefits to reprogramming your mindset and challenging your current “truths”; from being generally happier to having an insight into new experiences and ideas. It’s awesome and essential to develop a new mind for the new you.
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty”
– Maya Angelou
Step 4 – Free Yourself
Part of the problem that all women have, and what we’re here to solve, is the issue of time. As children, our perception of time is much different and we are “time abundant” for about the first 21 years of our lives. Then we hit true adulthood, and spare time becomes an elusive enigma like a unicorn or fairy!
“Time comes to those who make it; not those who try to find it…”
Jen Sincero – You are a Badass at Making Money
Making time is actually much simpler than we seem to think. It’s just the answers are often so glaringly obvious and simple that we ignore them or discount them. Some of our favourites here are:
Getting organised with appointments – you then waste less time doing things or going places that aren’t essential
Getting organised at home – decluttering and knowing exactly where things are can accumulate huge time savings. Trust me, you spend a lot of time looking for things!
Removing the non-essentials – we say yes wayyyyy more than we should
Remove stress – having a home that is safe and well maintained, applying simple self care routines and practicing mindfulness techniques. These things remove stress which reduce “worry responses” which are usually time wasters
Outsource – getting rid of the things that are inefficient when you weigh them up in time versus money
Automate – There are SO MANY things that we continue to do because “that’s the way it’s always been done” instead of embracing the freedom that modern technology can provide
Step 5 – Get on with It!
You’ve followed the steps and now have the destination in mind. You have removed or assessed the blocks that you know are going to slow you down. You’ve developed the mindset and skills you need to be stronger. You’ve cracked time saving and you’re now the efficiency queen. What’s left? Fill the void!
“The goal is not to simply eliminate the bad, which does nothing more than leave you with a vacuum, but to pursue and experience the best in the world”
Tim Ferriss – The 4 Hour Work Week
Make a plan to achieve the goal and go. That’s it. Take the steps. Take action. Look after yourself. Bask in your new time but DO NOT waste it. Revel in it and show that time that you’re worthy of having it and more.
Now it’s your turn! Shout out in the comments, what’s your first step to the new you?